The 20^th and 21^st century has seen more African and African Diaspora women adopt certain foreign terminologies and ideologies. One of such terms is “Feminism”, and it is most disheartening to say that bitterness and pain has made many of our women twist the true goals of feminism. It has now become a giant army always seeking to trample on men.

Before we continue, It is important that we describe and define feminism, so the reader can truly understand the angle the writer is coming from.

If the definition of “Feminism” is looked up in the dictionary, you’ll see these statements:

Feminism is:

1. The advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes

2. The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes

3. The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities

4. The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men

 Now these above aspirations of feminism are noble and should be fought for “peacefully and humanly.” But it seems as the days go by, the true creed is lost.

Feminism in its purest form is beautiful and a worthy course. Of course, women should have equal rights. But what we have today are groups of women who have twisted the goals of feminism, and have made it a “war cry” to subdue and hurt men. Others have made it a call to be disrespectful and insulting to their men.

Everywhere you turn on social media today, there are ‘Feminist Facebook groups’ exclusively for women, dedicated to the bashing of men. Some go as far as giving negative advice to younger women to divorce or pick fights with their man when there is a quarrel. Some of these young women just needed a shoulder to cry on, but after a few weeks in these groups, they are militarized and see men as the enemy. My question then is: Are we at war?

There was an incident in Nigeria in 2018, where a woman stabbed her husband to death, cut off his genitals, and placed it on his right hand. When the news broke out on social media, it was to the shock of many men to find women who endorsed the behavior of the woman. Many women said it served him right, and that it was time for women to stand up and fight. Some other popular feminists said it was the beginning of a revolution and that men should be afraid of what is coming because women were tired of being maltreated.

I am sure that most of us have seen such hateful comments coming from some women who claim to be fighting for the course of feminism. There are many young girls and ladies today, who believe cooking or doing house chores makes them victims. And then you begin to wonder how we got here as a people.

Many of them say they won't cook and clean when they get married. It sounds absurd, but that is how low, hate and pain has brought the tenets of true feminism in the African community. What has cooking and taking care of your home, children, and man got to do with gender equality? Absolutely nothing.

The recent trend amongst some of our women, Is nothing more than militant, negative, and misguided feminism. And this is why many men and some women now frown at the concept of Feminism. Not because it is not a worthy course. But because it has been highjacked by hate, bitterness, and an intention to offset the balance in the African society.

Today, there are men who treat their wives like queens and goddesses but do not want them going close to feminism. This is because there is an 80% probability that she would join a group and her mind will be poisoned against her husband. Every little family discussion now becomes a big issue – a tussle for supremacy.

In the African social media space, there is more resistance against feminism today than there was 4 years ago. Both men and women have come together to refuse the sometimes-hateful stance some feminists take on issues. Many women have come out to say that they believe in equality, but don’t want to be identified as feminists. Now, why is that? Well because they don’t want to be seen in the light of “acidulous and bitter militant Feminists.”

In conclusion, I do not discredit the works or aspirations of true feminists (both men and women) who do their best to demand and uphold gender equality without bitterness. They are applauded, by myself, and many others. But what we have rejected in our communities is an attempt by women who have been hurt in relationships, to incite other women to hurt men or disrespect their men.

That would only cause chaos and more division amongst us as a people. And sincerely, we need to stand together more at this point in our history.